Quiting smoking sucks

hey guys

sorry i havnt posted for a couple of weeks i just havnt really found the time lately, theres not much to update on really. its been a month and abit and im still looking for a job, so close to going somewhere and saying i will trial for free because if a hundred c.v's wont do it then thats got to. Also these past weeks ive been trying to cut down on smoking due to money and health issues, but its going terribly, its almost lamentable. i mean right now whilst righting instead of a real cigarette placed in my mouth i have a new electronic one, it dusnt really help but it does help with the physical adiction. I was sitting on my couch one day thinking about how much i needed the nicoteene i was craving, so i flicked my zippo lighter open and stared at the flame, doing so i thought about what else could take my mind of smoke, so i decided to write about the magic of the flame, i hope u like it ;

As i hold you in my hand
My eyes widen in extacy
I know you are untaimable
As you dance infront of me
Your orange body sways
It moves me also
You are mine
Yet you are your own.

what a sad life i lead finding pleasure in looking at fire, perhaps i am to be an arsanist in the future, who knows? one thing i forgot to tell you all is tomorrow i will be going back into a course of learning for the first time since 2009 and i really dont know how i am going to survive without cigerettes and freedom, thats why i was so shocking at it the firs time around i was to interested in getting what i wanted and going to get it even if i had class in the time i wanted it. oh well, they say "third times the charm" but im determined to make the 2nd time my charm. well till next week followers, wish me luck!

J.L. Penfold